i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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