i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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