WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Are we still banned from the library?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
