Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
