i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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