Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
