His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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