quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
