This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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