so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
