i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
