i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
