It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
