i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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