Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just google imaged poop.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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