dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
