We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize