she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
