i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
