I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
