Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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