She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
