I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
