I molested 6 butterflies tonight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
