Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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