oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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