Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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