i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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