Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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