Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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