She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize