but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
