i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
