Whod you bang
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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