Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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