I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
