You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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