Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
