I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
