i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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