A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
