So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
