I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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