My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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