so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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