Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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