my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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