i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His hands were made for my vagina.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
