That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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