So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
