Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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