Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
