Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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