it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
