I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
