I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
