the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
