Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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