Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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