This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
