I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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