I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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