Dual....:-)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
