You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
