you would pick up someone in the library
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Found your dick twin last night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
