their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My bed smells like the plague
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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