Yo dont text me then not text me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
