Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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