Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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