It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
